Clothes are just wonderful. They keep us warm and protect us from the elements. In nature, it is humans alone that have mastered this odd tool, and our sentience has brought further complications to these rags we hang from our frames. Clothes afford far more purpose than simply function, and even when in environments that require specific clothing for function, people still like to accessorise – just take a look at the multitude of designs and colour schemes on display at ski resorts. Clothing is a language.
Societal expression and etiquettes are conveyed through clothing, with various garb associated with different social events, such as dark suits for drunken nights out and boob tubes & miniskirts for funerals...
We homo sapiens just lurve to judge our fellow citizens, whether we mean to or not. People choose clothing to represent which sports team they support, how they are politically inclined, their favourite hobbies, their sexual orientation, events they've attended or bands they enjoy listening to. Even less denotative meanings are portrayed, as we can ascertain people’s class, monetary background, field of employment or social grouping just from their clothing.
Clothing is no different to hair style or speech in that, with only a small sample, it grants us a window into what we believe is the life of others. However, due to its optional and customisable nature, clothing is a more potent form of personal expression than both of those examples.
It allows us to express our day-to-day mood as well as our overall personality. Even by only wearing clothes given to or chosen for you, or expressing absolutely no interest in following the latest fashions or trends, much like a dad would, there is still a strong element of expression inherent within that. The apathy shown in their wardrobe decisions (or lack thereof) is in itself an indicator of such a personality.
Furthermore, putting together clothes that don’t match well expresses a certain ‘bad taste’ factor. Someone who combines the beauty of purple parachute trousers with a string vest is really expressing some facet of their personality. Protip: they’re probably a bit of a dickhead. At least these people are properly trying to express themselves.
Now. I do understand why people would want to buy designer gear. I guess that traditionally only the rich could afford fine satins and velvets to clad themselves in, and desired to showcase to the world their wealth, and subsequently also their personalities. As this has developed through the ages, we also have people wishing to express this same attitude, with designer labels and catwalk fashions also an indicator of exclusivity, affluence and personal values. So well done to them. They can afford lovely glittery t-shirts and sweet branded tank tops like the cool dude above.
I have an inordinate amount of hate for one particular type of cloth-wearer though. Remember the French Connection lowercase ‘fcuk’ branding campaign? Yeah, of course you do. Everyone wore it. It was cool. You wore it, didn’t you? Fcuk your mum, go fcuk yourself, I fcuk young children etc. It was funny, wasn't it? Remember?!
But then again, everyone wore it. The exact same t-shirts. Now no-one does. Take a look down at your torso. If you’ve got a SuperDry top on, then go downstairs to the kitchen, grab a butter knife and plunge it into your stomach. You’re a twat. After all I’ve said about clothing being a form of expression, you still choose to wear SuperDry? Have you been to Osaka before? 6 times? Wow.
Basically I don’t understand why people would want to wear a copy-paste template of something that is A) devoid of anything personal to them, B) common as muck, C) worn by wankers, and D) not even particularly valuable. It’s just the worst indicator of aspiration and self identity to present yourself as a mindless, stupid, copycat, Dolly (a sheep clone, get it?), with all the ambition and personality of a V-festival attendee. If clothing is a language, then wearing a SuperDry t-shirt would translate as something like:
I'm a massive prick who wears exactly what everyone else wears so that I'm not seen as too leftfield or outcast. I want to be like everyone other idiot out there and I am devoid of any genuine personality. I want to spend fairly excessive amounts of money on articles of clothing that bear no relation to me, my life or any of my opinions, so that I can show everybody that I buy premium high street clothing. I don't even like the clothes, so when SuperDry stops being popular, I'll just buy whatever the next mainstream trend is. Please be friends with me.
Superdry wearers: go fcuk yourselves.