Hawkenbury Climb to the Top of the Table

So, the mighty Hawkenbury went top of the league for the first time this season with a 10-0 demolition of Paddock Wood, including a hat-trick from yours truly. 4 games to go now...


Pos...Team...................P......W......D.....L.....F......A......GD.....Pts
1.....Hawkenbury.........20.....13.....1.....6.....77.....37.......40....40
2.....Tonbridge Invicta..19.....11.....5.....3.....53.....40.......13....40
3.....Ashton Prime........22.....12.....3.....7.....63.....40.......23....39
4.....Brenchley.............22.....12.....1.....9.....56.....54........2......37
5.....AFC Valour............20.....11.....3.....6.....47.....31.......16.....36
6.....Rusthall.................18.....9......4.....5.....72.....43.......29.....31
7.....Staplehurst...........19.....9......4.....6.....53.....29.......24.....31
8.....East Peckham.......20.....9......1.....10....35.....50.....-15.....28
9.....Woodlands...........20.....8......5.....7......45.....30.......15.....27
10....FC Revolution.......19.....8......1.....10....52.....62.....-10.....25
11....Frant....................20.....6......3.....11....45.....51.....-6.......20
12....Roselands............20.....3......1.....16....38.....90.....-52......10
13.....Paddock Wood....19.....1.....2.....16.....26.....105...-79.......5


Here's the match report from our confusingly aggressive managers:



Squad 4-5-1:
Bungles, Liam, Rob, Mike H, Aaron, Dan R, Lee, Jake E, Kev, Marcus, Joel W 
Subs:
Luke for Rob (55), Jake S for Dan R (70), Mick S for Marcus (89)
First Half 
Those at the game today know i wasn't a happy chappy and emotions got the better of me as i ranted and raved like a looney, the thing is i realised before we kicked off that we were half asleep which is why i freaked out while giving the teamtalk hoping it would shake you into reality but it didn't work as the first 5 minutes showed. Just because a team gets battered the previous week doesn't give us the 'right' to do the same; we have to play our normal game and the goals will come.
Within the first 5 minutes Bungles had to pull off two one on one saves because of lapsical play.
Our chat was non existent and our control and passing was crap, needless to say i was getting worried on the sidelines. We scored after 7 minutes when Bungles goalkick was flicked on by Joel for the running on Marcus who scored at the keepers near post 1-0.
Dan Reeve then had a great chance to further our lead a minute later from 4 yards out with just the keeper to beat but he hit it wide. Dan Reeve then did get one on target 4 minutes later.A throw in was headed on by Joel and after a few passes around the edge of their box Kev Dixon spotted Dan running through so chipped it over for Dan to rifle home 2-0.  
We still weren't playing decent football and the management were getting frustrated so barked orders from the sides to which the replies coming back from players was not complimentary. That was enough for me and i wanted to make immediate changes but Scott,who'd turned up just before we scored, calmed me down.
Joel then made it 3-0 after a great run and cross by Dan R left Joel a simple tap-in 3-0. 
Second Half
Scott gave the halftime teamtalk as i was still simmering with rage.
We started the second half a little better but with no goals in the first 10 minutes we made a change.
Rob came off and after shuffling Kev in defence and Joel in midfield on came Luke.
Almost immediately we looked to play better as Joels one or two touch passing kept the ball moving in our midfield before allowing our 3 fast forwards to attack their defence. Joel then got his second when Marcus took on a few players and hit a great shot that cannoned off the crossbar back to Joel who took a touch before volleying it into the net 4-0.
Joel then completed his hat trick with a thunderbolt strike 5-0. Jake Spiller then came on for Dan and his pace caused them palputations. Luke Bacon scored after a ball over the top gave him a one on one 6-0. Jake Spiller then made it 7-0 with an almost carbon copy of Lukes goal. Luke then ran through to cut out a weak shot to the keeper and got there before him before taking it wide of a few defenders and scoring from an angle 8-0.
Jake S then made it 9-0 with another race against their fullback which he won and slotted home.
Luke Bacon then completed his hat trick with 5 minutes to go with a through ball that he collected before racing clear and scoring 10-0. Marcus came off with a minute to go as the ref had threatened to send him off if he swore again so i reluctantly went on and never even touched the ball cause my teammates are a load of greedy gits !!!!!!!!

MOM
Lee Scrace, never scored but was one of a few who understood his job and did it.Joel and Bungles ran him close, the rest of you were jank !!!!!!!!
GOALS
Joel Windels 3, Luke Bacon 3, Jake Spiller 2, Marcus Reid 1, Dan Reeve 1
For future reference...if the management spot something from the sidelines and instructions are sent onto the pitch to improve our play...just do it !!!! I don't care if you agree with it or not.
Scott and my job is to run the team as we feel is the right way, your job is to follow instructions or get off the pitch and we'll put someone there who will. I bet you wish someonelse did write the match report now, well i did ask but noone wanted it so live with it and yes i'm still seething.
ManagersMick/Scott

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