Disappointing Wii Charts

This isn’t the first ‘disillusioned by Nintendo’ blog on Kombo, and I know that a lot of our readers have only Wiis, but I don’t know how you cope! A lifelong Nintendo fanboy, I have all of the big hitters for the Wii: Metroid Prime 3, Mario Galaxy, Zelda, No More Heroes, Super Smash Bros Brawl and the pick of the rest too, such as Boom Blox and De Blob.

The problem for me is that these games aren’t the same high quality as those in the N64 era. Ocarina beats Twilight Princess, Melee beats Brawl, MarioKart64 beats MarioKart Wii and Goldeneye beats... well everything. The N64 is my favourite console, and when searching for games in my local store (as with GC games) they were allocated a tiny space next to the gargantuan archives of Sony and later Microsoft. Nevertheless, the Nintendo section was always brimful of shiny goods, and you never had to look past the top 20 to find the likes of Majora’s Mask, Diddy Kong Racing or Goldeneye, due to UK Game store’s apparent policy of making up the top 20 with whatever stock they had lying around – almost always Rare’s and Nintendo’s first party games. The De Blobs and Boom Bloxes of yesteryear were Wetrix and Blast Corps, smaller titles that today are essential in bolstering the library of quality for the Wii, but previously would provide pleasant and unheralded surprises on the quiet N64 shelves. I used to smile when I strolled past whatever tripe was selling well on the PlayStation at the time, the walls and walls of cheapo cash-ins, lazy licenses and other glitzy but shallow bullshit, all the way over to ever-shrinking cosy Nintendo aisle to choose which gem I would decide to buy, with very few ‘filler’ titles or red herrings in the way on their shelves.

The situation has somewhat reversed however, and I now find myself wandering to the comparatively smaller Xbox and PS3 sections to select my purchase, passing countless disgusting Wii titles en route. When browsing for a Wii game, I just get frustrated and am yet to make a single in-store ‘gamble’ purchase for the Wii yet, mainly due to the giant blockade of spunk in my way.

Being a Nintendo fanboy, it used to be like walking past other people’s shit to find your own little corner of pure gold that only you knew was there, and now it’s like sifting through a mountain of your own shit only to find a few scraps of sliver. And it doesn’t appear as if there is much more silver to find, this year at least. I no longer get excited about Nintendo. I think the end has come. I have fallen out of love with Nintendo. It is so disheartening to know that Nintendo, my ultimate favourite underdog – the one without the mountain of third party drivel that plagued the PS1 and PS2 has become the thing I used to hate so much.

Here is HMV’s top 20 that I saw today when out looking for a new Wii game that inspired this final straw:

1. EA Sports Active - No need. Really, there isn’t
2. Grand Slam Tennis Selling well due to Wimbledon 2009 presumably
3. Virtua Tennis 2009 As above, though likely pretty good if you like tennis already
4. Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum Ultimatum? Get fit or Michaels will smash your face in?
5. Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings Another crushing disappointment
6. Guitar Hero Metallica A: Metallica fans only B: You’ve got the other 6 editions already
7. Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince I’m not giving this the benefit of the doubt
8. Carnival: Fun Fair Games The omnipresent shitheap. Set a sales record in the UK somehow
9. It's My Birthday I don’t care what day it is, I’m still not buying your crappy game
10. Fun Park Party Trading standards should investigate this appalling use of the word fun
11. Big Family Games Fat people only please, or those with lots of distant relatives
12. MySims Racing Haven’t got a MySim and the boxart was horrible
13. My Fitness Coach Surely everyone already has about 5 each by now?
14. Ben 10 I have no idea what this is
15. Boom Blox Bash Party First game that interests me, but the original is enough for me
16. Ice Age 3: Dawn of Dinosaurs No thankyou
17. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen See above
18. Mario Tennis Got the GC version. Got boring 5 years ago
19. Summer Sports Party Just piss off with all these parties all the time, go to a real one
20. Punch-out! Finally! Still probably won’t buy it though, I’ve always been nonchalant about the NES version

Hey, I know there are some small counter-arguments to my rant, such as the greatness that is Mario Galaxy and a few distant hopeful blips on the horizon, and the fact that I am too lazy to find the Rune Factories and the fact that I am unwilling to gamble on Tiger Woods. I just no longer see the point and a visit to any UK game store will probably reduce you to the same desperate low that I currently am in whenever I think about my former (non-literal!) lover, Nintendo

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