Ant or Dec: Who Cares?

I imagine that most people in the US don’t know who Ant and Dec (also known as PJ and Duncan) are. I envy them. These two Geordie chancers have graced British television for the last ten or fifteen years, beginning their careers in the awful kids show ‘Byker Grove’. After a short career in the world of pop, the UK ‘Vanilla Ice squared’ got work presenting Saturday morning TV shows, soon appearing all over the place. The official video has conveniently restricted its embed code so watch it here, but here is a performance of their epically crap ‘Ready to Rhumble’ just so you get an idea of just how lame they are.

Over the years they have moved to primetime UK television, with huge lucrative contracts to present the endless stream of brainless pissy sewage that floods into the public’s living rooms each week. They have never seen to be apart from each other, they reportedly live together and are generally ubiquitous. The pair are an easy target for comedians and panel shows, with Bo Selecta, Love Actually and Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle among the most famous to ridicule the docile bell-ends. They are however, seen by mums and idiots as sweet gents and cheeky chappies, and thusly Nintendo smelt a golden opportunity to cash in on them. The opportunity soon became a £2million deal, and now Ant and Dec are the faces of Nintendo’s biggest ever advertising campaign. Ant also said in the press release that he’s always loved Nintendo, and he grew up playing the N64. They were born in 1975. The N64 was released in 1997. So they were 22 when they ‘grew up’. Sigh...

In no way are pubs in England like this. They are less contrived, there is little to no sense of community and we normally sit around drinking beer. There are no Wiis. And Ant and Dec wouldn’t be welcome.

By appealing to idiots with this campaign, Nintendo are also aggravating everyone else who likes Nintendo. I’m glad I’m no longer a schoolboy having to defend Nintendo against the bigger boys, as although my argument of ‘Goldeneye is way better than Time Crisis’ stood up well, I’d really bloody struggle to try and maintain Nintendo’s awesomeness with these planks endorsing their products.
And you can’t even get rid of them
. Waste your money elsewhere Nintendo, please. Please.

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